Everything aches. After one month of bending over, pulling crop fabric, planting, weeding and everything else that farming is, my body is tired. It’s good kind of tired though. And to be honest, wrestling my farm manager may have been what pushed me over the edge. All I can say is that, everything hurts.
Read MoreThis is an interesting topic to embark on. Those who are ‘happy’ are often lumped into, ‘They’re fine.’ or ‘They don’t need help.’ For the most part, this is true. We have built in coping mechanisms that push us to pursue happiness. Most of us developed these in childhood, sometimes from traumatic experiences, and they are how we are able to move through and function in the world.
Read MoreI sat down with my boss at the beginning of the quarantine. Working in hospitality, I anticipated our inevitable demise during this pandemic. He gently assured me, ‘I can only keep your benefits while you are employed, so we will try our best to keep you employed.’ The next day, all of my friends in the hospitality industry were let go on furlough. I remained employed.
Read MoreI say all this to affirm how long it takes for a pattern to break. It takes some mistakes. It will not look perfect from the beginning. It will be disorienting to re-wire your heart to nourish instead of self sabotage. But what you will get is a partner. A friend. Someone who listens, and loves, and adapts, with your best interest in mind. They will walk a couple steps ahead of you, and notice shifts in your mood. Their purpose will be to live a life that uplifts yours at the same time.
Read MoreEmployers are granted legal permission to pay their employees less than minimum wage, with tip compensation accounting for the additional amount. Any well meaning coffee shop will include their bakers, kitchen staff, and busboys in the tip pool as well. This means that the livelihoods of coffeeshop employees relies on a tip pool derived from 1 or 2 dollars on each cup of coffee. Yes, the numbers add up quick, but divided, they disappear.
Read MoreWhen did you stop asking questions?
There was probably a point in time when a piece of your questions were shot down for a final time and you decided (probably subconsciously) that there was no reason to continue asking your questions. These questions look like, ‘why is the sky blue’ or ‘why did she get a bigger slice of cookie’ or ‘why is my hair curly?’
Read MoreIt should be simple. There is one earth worth of resources given to sustain all life on the planet. These resources are in essence enough to continuously carry out life forever… and yet, we are hyper-focused on consumption. On what is already available and how to use it. We neglect the decomposition. We neglect death and demand life. We forget the importance of letting things decompose.
Read MoreI thought that my emotions had to do with distance. With a far away lover, and my inability to be in that space. With the moon, and Friday the 13th, and not having a home, and general dissatisfaction in life. A lot of these are emotionally stressful, and yet, all of these are intertwined into a bigger picture that has been leaving me and many others with a sense of hopelessness.
Read MoreI’ve turned myself into a soft river. I used to think it was boring to be so gentle. Or that I would get bored being so gentle. But all that I find here is strength. My lover, now, is my river bed and I’m gently rivering my way along with him.
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