“The true secret of happiness lies in the taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.” -William Morris

Right now there are a lot of resources floating around with reminders that its ‘okay to feel how you feel,’ and ‘grief is a part of this,’ and ‘its okay to not be okay.’ These are important reminders for those of us grappling with darkness, but where does it leave those who feel ‘okay?’

This is an interesting topic to embark on. Those who are ‘happy’ are often lumped into, ‘They’re fine.’ or ‘They don’t need help.’ For the most part, this is true. We have built in coping mechanisms that push us to pursue happiness. Most of us developed these in childhood, sometimes from traumatic experiences, and they are how we are able to move through and function in the world.

It does not mean pain does not exist for us.

I feel this is important to share because amidst the normalization of ‘not being okay’ it is easy to lose sight of what it looks like to want to be okay. Without taking anything away from those who struggle with their mental health, I want to illuminate how important it is to celebrate your success when you feel mentally healthy.

There is a lot going on right now. A lot. With all of this new information and the mountain of unknowns, our internal systems are being challenged to find new ways to be. A lot of us have built our ways of ‘being’ around the importance of our ‘work’ and without it, we have lost pieces of our identity.

Our identities are made up of what we have identified as important. Those who battle depression and anxiety have ongoing battles in their minds because their minds have decided the battles are important to have. It isn’t as simple as saying ‘stop doing that,’ and it requires a lot of time of diving in and figuring out how and when your system decided it was important.

Our identity is ultimately what we have to make ourselves feel as though we have a place in the world. It feeds internally and externally with how others view us, and how we view their perception. As we become aware of how our perception filters others’ perception, we can figure out which way to steer our ship.

From here we could travel down the rabbit hole of social media (and using it to your advantage to portray yourself as the kind of person you want to be, and then to step into being that kind of person), or active daily things you can do to maintain your sense of self, or what it looks like to actively choose happiness.

But, to save you and I both time to go on and step into our lives, I’ll wrap it up with this: Happiness is your choice. You have a life behind you that you get to choose to use to your advantage. I understand the privilege of my past, and hope to use it to benefit others. My pain is different from yours. Many run deeper than mine. Many are harder to overcome than mine. And how we choose to overcome it is what gives us the space for peace in daily life.

To begin, you don’t have to do much. You simply have to begin to pay attention. To grind your coffee, and listen to the sounds. To watch the boiling water brew it. To create time lines of your day that would bring you joy, and then to forgive yourself for wandering off them. To sit still. To feel your body, and then to thank your body for getting it to where it is today.

And then when you’re ready, the next step is… to choose happiness. Because you can.