“You don't love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not.” 
― Jodi Picoult

Many of us will settle for mediocre love. We could blame it on our upbringing… of not having witnessed a deep kind of love. Or maybe a parent left, teaching us that no one will stay. Or maybe we witnessed a jealous love that taught us that love was jealous, and thus became averse to it. Yet, here we are in a time where we are looking for life partners that act as our best friend, financial co-dependent, therapist, snuggle buddy, and overall person who we spend our days and adventures with.

The pressure is massive and the weight is exhausting. Perfection has found its way into a place it does not belong, and our relationships suffer because of it. Love needs space to breathe.

I spend a lot of time wondering the workings of love. As a scientist, I have to giggle at how many of my past ventures have been experiments. They have had hypothesis, followed by trial periods, followed by conclusions and what I’ve learned. I’ve been gathering data for how the male species behaves in romance, and I’ve also found that my heart-wide-open love is not as easily understood. If you, or one of your friends is the kind of person who loves with their whole heart, please give yourself a hug for me. Your work is beautiful, and you are important.

The romantics are given the shit end of the stick in the commitment-phobic time period. People seem to be afraid of going all-in. Afraid for what it might mean if (god forbid) the other person got feelings for them. I’ve heard a number of people say “I’m afraid of hurting you,” which 1. is rude because it means you don’t have faith in my resilience and 2. is egotistical because what you are essentially saying is that you are ‘so good that the absence of me from your life is going to literally cause you pain.’ Nope. I’m done with that.

What I want is the big love. The love that finds me here and pursues me with the same interest and drive that whoever it is gives to whatever they love. I want to share life with a human who I can share my life with other humans with. I want a love that isn’t afraid of feeling. A love that breathes, and gives, and takes in equal doses. The kind of love that gives you goosebumps, and is so easy that its almost hard to talk about because you don’t want to jinx it.

Its hard to admit that we want this kind of love because there are so many voices telling us that we can’t have it. Voices outside and inside our own heads that are trying to convince us that what we want isn’t available to us. Well, those voices can kindly fuck off, because there is a love out there waiting to mirror yours. All we have to do is start living in alignment with ourselves, our true selves… the messy, spontaneous, lazy selves that we are… so that when this love finds us, it can jump right in.