“Don't waste your time with explanations: people only hear what they want to hear.” 
― Paulo Coelho

I am sitting in a beach chair laughing. My skin, tan and happy against the sky. My heart is full and happy knowing I have made it through. It no longer hurts. I understand and accept the way that things are. I feel alive in my clarity. When we are in moments like this we want 'them' to know just how good we are doing. We want to tell them that we understand and that we are on the same page and that it MAKES SENSE. 

But sometimes they will keep you out. They won't give you the time you deserve to explain your side of the story. They don't want to hear anything that might break the world they have built up around them. And guess what.... they don't have to. All you can do when you end up in one of these situations is walk away. No matter how fully you believe that surely, they must be better than that, they are not. When someone closes you out before hearing your side, they have told you that their story is the only one that matters.

It isn't. No matter how eloquently you can say that you've finally made it to their point of view, and now that you're there, you don't want anything to do with them right now... they won't get it. If you lean in, they'll pull away. And no one even likes to play the game of pulling away to see if they come back. It is exhausting. No one likes to be the one pushing or pulling. The only thing that you can do is walk away calmly and confidently.

There are games. People don't even realize that they are playing their games. They simply start acting based on their feelings without taking the time to stop and think about what they are doing. I am done with the push and pull. I have time to learn a lover and to let a love love me. The next man who comes into my life will sit on beach chairs and watch the world go by with me. He will ask me about myself, my life and my beliefs. He will take the time to learn me and give me to time to remain a mystery. He will love what I do and love what he does. It will be a natural and slow process. 

People only understand what they want to. They will only go as far as their minds want them to go, and they will only search until their curiosities are satisfied. When we are in relationship with others, it is crucial to keep an open mind with each new day of learning and discovering the person. When one part of the equation feels they have learned all that they need to, they will shut off. And when they shut off, the other person must be able to recognize this, and then to walk away. There is never a time when anyone should have to fight for affection. Affection comes naturally and spontaneously. If it is not this way, then it is not the way.

So, while I wait for my man to come climbing down from the hills, hungry for me as I am, I will continue to be what I am. The life that I am living is the one that I want to be living and I would not trade it for anything. If he doesn't get it.... he doesn't. There is no rhyme or reason to it, just what it is now. And while everyone has the ability to open up and try to see where you are coming from.... they probably won't. Unless they want to. And if they don't want to, then they truly don't deserve you. Your love is enough. There is enough love for you here. Take a breath and relax.