“The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery.” 
― Anaïs Nin

I am the kind of woman who walks around with her heart on her sleeves. I've never been good at shoving it into my pockets, or telling it to sit in the other room while I meet a stranger, or asking it to slow down. It has always happened as a sudden rush, where I turn around to find my heart is ten steps ahead of me smiling wildly at whatever has caught its attention. The few times I tried to fight it, I found myself feeling disconnected and dull. Since then, I've trusted my heart to lead the way and my self to be okay with whichever scenario rolls out in front of me.

It has taken a lot of work to embrace this piece of my being. I am the kind of woman who loves with all of me. Whose love is a constant flowing force, flowing through and to different people and places. My love has times of expansion and times of retraction, but it is always there. I feel it all. I feel my emotions and yours and theirs. When I find a lover, my love flows like a river towards them. My life extends outwards into theirs, and I share it all. My trust is open to be met as wholly open as I am.

This is my gift. I dive deeply, quickly. I've learned how to breathe in the depths, and to find the calm in the unknown. I have yet to meet a lover who can sustain his dive as long as I. Love is about learning to breathe underwater. About the space in between two people that is built on genuine compassion and care for the well-being of the other. Love includes the sunshine and rain. The joys and sorrows. The dreams and actions and the grace we have for each other as we push ourselves further into the lives of our own creations. 

Love is being who we are now, knowing that each day we change. Love remains when we acknowledge that the person in front of us has an entire universe of thoughts and experiences flowing within them, and that they are in motion even as they are standing still. Love is what continues to exist in complacency. In periods of stillness, where we understand that there is always more mystery waiting to be uncovered as we move through the worlds.

I am the type of woman who loves with both feet. I have not done it consciously yet. I have always listened to my heart and acted from the pieces that felt good. I've built myself up on giving a type of love that I would be honored to receive. Love is giving. Love is action. Love is the attention and time we have to learn the same person a million times as their hearts and minds move. Love is finding the person who will support you now, whose path is flowing with yours, whose heart understands the type of love you give, and shows up.

I will never stop believing in this love. By embracing myself and the way that I love, I have opened myself to receiving the love that matches mine. The love that knows how and when to ask for what it needs. The love that runs up mountains and sleeps on beaches and seeks the excitement of being human. The love that asks questions without fear of the depths they will reach. The love that sits honestly and vulnerably with the scars and strengths and will to understand them all. The love that isn't afraid of looking like a fool, who wants to write the most interesting and beautiful story, who speaks their truth and hears mine, who chooses me again and again. I am open for the kind of love that jumps all in trusting that it will be worth it however it goes. 

The mystery is what keeps us alive. The curiosity that pulls us to and from our feelings delicately. There is always more to know about a person. About ourselves. About this life that we are all dancing in. Love stays alive when we fan the flames of mystery within each of us. The only way we kill it, is when we stop searching.