Becoming Everything

“What I am really saying is that you don’t need to do anything, because if you see yourself in the correct way, you are all as much extraordinary phenomenon of nature as trees, clouds, the patterns in running water, the flickering of fire, the arrangement of the stars, and the form of a galaxy. You are all just like that, and there is nothing wrong with you at all.”

-Alan Watts

I take a breath, and the sky becomes my body. The same sky filtering through the leaves around me, giving them life. Sky, a strange collection of elements that keep me from catapulting out into space. And for some reason, here I am, a different combination of the same material that makes up this earth. If it is a part of me, then I must be a part of it. 

When I reach this point in my thoughts, everything slows down. There is no rush to become anything, I am everything that I am. Everything I have done is a part of me, and everything I will do depends on my ability to be present and pay attention to what is in front of me. My career becomes an exploration of my curiosities, not an end goal to be obtained. I am in the collecting phase of my humanness. Collecting memories, and people, and books that carry me into my self. 

The self that exists in the composition of the universe that I am. With my combination of interests, and adventure, and love, I learn how to embrace my curiosities and direct their energy towards what is more than I am. I am aware that I have not yet found my true place. It will take time, a period of being still and growing where I am to learn who I am. Who I am when I am not running around the world collecting stories. Rather, who I am within a community I want to keep showing up for. 

I am ready to listen. To learn the earth around me, and to learn what people are here to share this journey with me. I am calming down into the idea that I might already be all that I am, and I am learning how to unlock the pieces of me. As humans, we require mentors and minds to help us solidify and guide our experiences. Self-exploration is vital. It is important to know who we are at the core of our being when all else falls away. And then, we must learn how to incorporate ourselves into the bigger picture.

Whether we immerse ourselves deeply in work within a city, or step back into the outer rings observing, it doesn't matter. What matters is how we embrace ourselves and our needs fully enough to blend them into the worlds we are a part of. Nature is a beautiful resource for the shedding of identity. When we walk outside, there are no mirrors. We feel the body we reside in based on how it walks over rocks, and swims in the streams, and sleeps under the stars. Our body becomes a vessel we must take care of so that it can sustain us, but it loses the need to appear a certain way. 

Then we look to the mountains we climb, and the trees that dance, and the birds flitting from branch to branch, slowly becoming pieces of ourself. When we slow down enough to notice all of the pieces that make up the whole, we find ourselves. Small bundles of atoms and light, everything, and nothing.